The Peel is an offshoot of the Onion but honestly if someone told me this was real slam poetry I wouldn’t even question it
(Source: merry-go-round-jailhouse, via hotboyproblems)
I’m losing my mind I just saw panic in Pittsburgh and while they set up Africa by Toto came on and the entire crowd went wild and turned on their phone lights and sang and I was sitting next to a dad in his fifties and he was SO confused he said “this wasn’t even this big of a hit when it came out???”
(via hotboyproblems)
Me: I don’t have the energy for this
Someone: For what?
Me: *gestures vaguely*
(Source: scullyphile, via gossipinq)
Steve Harvey: Name something that two adults do with each other in private in the master bedroom of their house.
Contestant: Sex?
Steve Harvey: EKJDBRHDIVIDJBEJSJOSOCICJFBRKSJCIVUHFBRNEOSOCOVICJDBWJCOUCHR
(via squidyword)
this is so sad alexa bring in the dancing lobsters
(via an-ace-up-your-sleeve)
whether or not I’m attractive now is another thing, but being socialized as ‘ugly’ and ‘undesirable’ in public school early on has really taken a toll on me
(via heart)
my armenian father getting angry at a squirrel
“you are. stealink…. my nuts…”
(via hijerking)
We really are fucked I mean ww3 could break out any day and we’d all be like ”this is so sad alexa play despacito”
(via laughawayeternity)
I want my husband to have this accent
alright, that’s fine, that’s pretty con-fucking-venient
(Source: paper-mario-wiki, via neatpotatoes)
sign her now
This made me cry
(Source: cutepetclub, via hijerking)
“A Sticky Situation” (1960) by Carl Barks
I like how advertising is literally still exactly as sexist as they’re joking about in this comic from 54 years ago.
(via hijerking)
me: I am young
my noisy joints: are you sure
(Source: trevenant, via classydude)
new rule, no one’s allowed to make fun of women for fitting “manic pixie dream girl” stereotypes, if a gal is ~quirky~ and dyes her hair and takes pictures of the moon fuckin let her, it’s not her fault men think she’s gonna cure their existential issues just bc she likes milkshakes and floral tattoos lmao
(via an-ace-up-your-sleeve)